OFFICIAL RULES FOR THE 2015
1. The 2015 "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" Dead Pool is a
competition between people who attempt to predict
the deaths of famous (or relatively famous) people between
March 1, 2015, and Dec. 31, 2015.
2. Players select 10 celebrities they think will cash in their chips during that time period, and rank them from 10 to 1. If one of those unfortunate individuals happens to kick the bucket during that time period, the player will get points based on their ranking.
For example, if this were a player's list:
10. George Washington
... and John Wayne happened to take a dirt bath (again)
during the designated time period, the player would get 6 points.
The player would also be allowed to replace the late Mr. Wayne
at the No. 6 spot with another name.
3. New rule: This rule comes from a player's suggestion. If anyone on your team dies, and they're under the age of 50, you get double points for that player. For example, if you have George Washington in your No. 7 position, and he dies again, you'd get 7 points, since George Washington would be 283 years old. If, however, you have teen heart-throb Justin Bieber in your No. 7 position and he swerves off a road while drag racing at high speed in a drug- and alcohol-fueled stupor and slams into a utility pole -- God forbid -- you'd get double points, or 14.
4. The player with the most points at the end of the year is the winner.
And it's just that easy.
5. In the 2015 "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" Dead Pool, each entry
will consist of a list of 10 celebrities, identified by name,
and ranked in descending order from 10 to 1, according to the
expected likelihood of their respective deaths.
6. Listed celebrities who die during the period beginning at
12:01 a.m. March 1, 2015, and ending at 11:59 p.m. Dec. 31, 2015,
will each be credited as one "death." The exact time of death
will be determined by the location of the celebrity at the time
of his or her demise. Also, they have to be actual, verified
deaths. If some State Department yahoo says he's "pretty sure"
Fidel Castro is dead, that doesn't count until someone can
produce his severed head on a stick (Castro's head, that is,
not the yahoo's).
7. All entries must be received by March 1, 2015, more or less. Entries can
be mailed, or emailed to
"Knockin' On Heaven's Door" 2015 Dead Pool
. (DedPuleGuy@aol.com)
8. Each entry must be accompanied by a $10 entry fee, to be mailed, personally presented, or otherwise delivered (via PalPay) to the Dead Pool Commissioner. Contact
and mailing information will be provided on request. The entry
fee may be sent after the lists are emailed to the above address.
9. Players may enter as many times as they want, but each entry
must be accompanied by the $10 entry fee. And no points will be
awarded until the entry fee is received.
10. To be eligible for consideration, a celebrity must be a
relatively well-known person -- not your Uncle Herb, unless everyone
else knows Uncle Herb, too -- and his or her obituary must
appear in at least one non-local newspaper, or national news
outlet. Decisions on celebrityhood will be determined by
the "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" Celebrity Determination
Committee at the time of entry.
11. For the purposes of this pool, people who are famous just because they're not dead WILL NOT be eligible. That means the world's oldest person, the second-oldest person, the oldest person in Canada, etc. If their only claim to fame is being really, really old, they are ineligible. Sorry to anyone who took care of themselves for 114 years with the dream of being included in this Dead Pool.
12. If a player's entry is determined to include a non-celebrity
name, that player will be notified, and will be allowed to
replace the name at no additional cost or public humiliation.
13. Players may also use the Official 2015 "Knockin' On Heaven's
Door" Entry form if they want to, but they don't have to.
14. From all eligible entries received, the prizes at the end of
the year will be distributed as follows, based on point totals:
First place: 70 percent of all money collected.
In the event of any players finishing the season with an
equal number of points, the prize money will be divided
equally among those players.
15. Players cannot be personally responsible, either directly
or indirectly, for the death of anyone on their lists. This
would be a cause for immediate disqualification from the
game, and forfeiture of entry fees and prize money. And possible
police involvement. It's just not worth it.
16. Odds of winning depends on the number of participants, and
the prediction ability of each. Prizes are not transferable
and no substitution of prizes is permitted.
17. In all matters, decisions of the judges is final. For any questions,
problems or issues that might arise and are not covered in
these rules, the decisions of the judges is also final.
So there.
18. Regular updates of the 2015 "Knockin' On Heaven's Door,"
including current standings, will be posted on the "Hollywood
Remains To Be Seen" Website. (That's right here.)
19. As soon as all team entries are received, I'll post the team rosters, so you can follow along at home and wonder why everyone else picked better teams.
20. Although I'll try to keep up to date on the departures, and send out timely updates, I might miss one. So the team managers have some responsibility in keeping me informed, just in case one of their players shuffles off to eternity and I missed the news.
21. Players are also responsible for sending in replacement names, although there is no time limit for that. In previous years, there were some complaints about players leaving an open spot on their roster, and checking the admission forms at the emergency room. That's perfectly legal. Those players leave an open spot on their roster, and there's no guarantee that people who could "die at any minute" actually will. For example, Zsa Zsa Gabor has been on at least one team in every Dead Pool since we started, way back in 2004. If I had a nickel for every day that was supposed to be her last, I'd have a whole lot of nickels.
22. A replacement name is official as soon as it's received in the Dead Pool International Headquarters. I post the updates as soon as I can, but it's not always instantanious. But if the email has been received, the replacement is official, whether it's officially posted or not. (Which means that sometimes I'm lazy and forget to check my email, but I won't hold you responsible for that.)
23. How many points will you need to win? There's an almost infinite number of points you could get. At the low end, there's zero, which happens to someone almost every year. At the high end, let's assume that everyone on your roster dies, every day, all year long. So, you could get a maximum of 55 points every day. Over 306 days, that would come out to 16,830 points, and 3,060 dead people. And that probably won't happen because, first of all, on about the third day, someone would be calling the police. (See Rule No. 15.) In previous Dead Pools, the winning score has ranged from 25 points to 93 points.
24. Excessively generous bribes of the Dead Pool Commissioner are allowed and encouraged. They will not, however, make any difference in the strict adherence to the rules, the points won, or the final standings. But thanks anyway.
25. Who should I pick? I have no idea. And, even if I did, I would't tell you. I'd submit my own entry, and win the dang thing. If you're looking for some guidance, take a look at the team rosters from the previous years, and see who's still available.
26. This is supposed to be fun. It's not life or, uh ... never mind.
Any questions? Contact the Dead Pool Commissioner
at
"Knockin' On Heaven's Door" 2015 Dead Pool
.
"Knockin' on Heaven's Door" Dead Pool
9. John Adams
8. Thomas Jefferson
7. Betsy Ross
6. John Wayne
5. Jack Benny
4. Emily Dickinson
3. Burl Ives
2. Franklin Roosevelt
1. Roy Rogers
Second place: 20 percent of all money collected.
Third place: 10 percent of all money collected.
Everyone else: Better luck next year.